Jackie Mason Undergoes Penis Augmentation Surgery
26 Aug 2006 14:18 GMT
Truth is stranger than fiction.
The Lord is My Shepherd
Jackie Mason is now suing a Religion. He is suing “Jews for Jesus” in a predominantly Christian Country. He is in effect suing the Lord God Jesus Christ. The Jews for Jesus were distributing pamphlets in the New York Subway system. It’s not like they were detonating dirty bombs in the subway. The subway train is a major phallic symbol riding fast into the cavernous erogenous female area. The only thing missing is hair.
The pamphlets that these people were handing out had a caricature of Jackie Mason asking if he was a Jew for Jesus. It then went on to explain the many similarities between Christianity and Judaism. At the age of 25 Jackie was ordained as a Rabbi. At the age of 25 Jesus Christ a Jewish man was ordained as a Rabbi. Jackie complained that the Jews for Jesus were stealing his shtick, his material. His shtick is so old already that it has grown mold. Jackie has spent the last 30 years insulting Christians, aka Gentiles aka Goyim as his shtick. He claims to be as Jewish as a Matzoh Ball or a Kosher Salami. Let this big shot sue Hezbollah. Let him sue Hamas. Let him sue Islamic Jihad and Ayatollah Khameini for calling for the destruction of Israel. Let him pick on someone his own size. He is demanding 2 million dollars in damages from Jews for Jesus. He should be paying them 10 million dollars for all the free publicity and for resurrecting his dead career. They are his Lazarus.
People’s shticks are a hot topic in celebrity circles these days. Jessica Simpson recently announced to the world that her pop star ex Nick Lachey has a shvantz the lenth of a fingernail only narrower. She never mentioned this on The Newlyweds where she faked being so happy with Nick. She now claims that for 3 years of marriage she had to fake the big Jackie O and she never knew whether her husband was inside of her or not. She also claims to have saved herself for her wedding night. While she was busy faking enjoying sex her sister Ashlee was busy faking singing on Saturday Night Live. They’re big time actresses idolized by millions.
When Jackie Mason compares himself to a Kosher Salami this is code for his new penis. He recently underwent Penis Augmentation Surgery at the Mayo Clinic. He went for added length and added girth. This meant attaching weights to his penis for months for the length and injecting fat cells for the girth. Never mind that he hasn’t had an erection in 30 years. He is training with a Maharishi at the Viagra Institute of Transcendental Meditation to alleviate this problem. Does the world seem like a bad acid trip or is this stuff really happening. The Military Industrial Complex is gobbling up 50% of your tax dollars, the US has a record 8 trillion dollar deficit, Exxon Mobil is printing money, Lebanese children are being dismembered by Israeli bombs and this absolute Putz is suing Jesus. The Apocalypse cannot come a moment too soon. Let Jackie tell his Goyim jokes to the resurrected Jesus Christ. He’ll be lucky to go to Hell. In the meantime he is disgracing his fellow Jews, this penis weightlifter.
The Temple of Love http://www.thetempleoflove.com The World Peace Religion