What's Next for America?
17 Jul 2007 16:25 GMT
With the Bush Administration nearing its end, and criticism of America's domestic and foreign policies at unprecedented levels, it is time to devise a workable plan for our country's future. This is an attempt to do so.
America has some workable choices for the future. First of all, our next war should be with Canada rather than Iran. Canada, our biggest oil supplier, is building up military forces in the potentially oil-rich Northwest Passage, in direct opposition to the anti-colonial spirit of our own Monroe Doctrine. The elite in Canada see their nation as a rising energy superpower. A war up north would serve the same purpose as a war in the Middle East, but at a lower cost and with the advantage of keeping our young men and women close to home.
Second, we should combine two discredited entities into one new organization that can ensure free trade and help reduce our deficit. The SCHOOL OF THE AMERICAS is a training facility for counter-insurgency and torture techniques for Latin American military personnel. The FREE TRADE AREA OF THE AMERICAS would allow us to "guarantee control for North American businesses over a territory which stretches from the Arctic to the Antarctic." We should merge the two into a new TRADE SCHOOL OF THE AMERICAS, which will train economists in counter-insurgency and torture techniques, thus ensuring our control over the system of subsidies and tariffs that make free trade beneficial to America.
Third, we should provide a graceful exit for our current administration to encourage them to step down soon. Arrangements can be made with the textbook publishers to write the Bush legacy into their books without the usual 50-year wait. Phrases such as 'Mr Bush unified world opinion' would be sure to capture the attention of future high school students without requiring an understanding of the facts. The students will repeat with pride the president's words that the Iraq War was "America's golden moment."
Finally, we should encourage the President to put his memoirs in a book of Bush Literature (bushlit, for short). A sample chapter is provided for his convenience:
Chapter 1: Iraq, From My Point of View
It all started in the spring of 2001, when Dick's task force met to discuss the situation over there, using a chart called 'Foreign Suitors for Iraqi Oilfields.' We were courting the Iraqis, not fighting them.
I know the Downing Street business looks bad. People say Tony and I planned the war ahead of time, that we tried to 'fix the facts.' Well, of course, we wanted the facts fixed in people's minds. Later that year, before the war, I distinctly said "war is the last option for confronting threats."
When the war started we did our best to end it quickly, to bring representative democracy to Iraq. Sure the new organizational chart had no Iraqis on it, but remember it took 7,000 years to build that country. I think I made it clear that "the war in Iraq is really about peace."
What about the weapons of mass destruction? I'll tell you, "I wasn't happy when we found out there wasn't weapons." And who could have known that the weapons of mass destruction and Al Qaeda would be found among our friends in Pakistan?
The good people at Bechtel and Halliburton helped to restore democracy in Iraq. With their assistance we rewrote the constitution, trade laws, tax laws, and intellectual property laws. Unfortunately we lost the Ministry of Education, the Ministry of Trade, and the Ministry of Culture. But we saved the Ministry of Oil.
I can tell you that "the United States has no quarrel with the Iraqi people." I heard about some study at, what, John Hopkins, that said 650,000 Iraqis have died in the war. I'd have to question that. Anyway, as Colin once said, "It's really not a number I'm terribly interested in." I have other things on my mind. "You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror." And what about all the Americans who are still alive? I know my good friend Henry was supposed to have said "Military men are just dumb stupid animals to be used as pawns in foreign policy." I'd have to disagree with that. But like my dad said, "I will never apologize for the United States of America - I don't care what the facts are."
Let me just summarize all this: "It's bad in Iraq. Does that help?"
Paul Buchheit is a professor with the Chicago City Colleges, the founder of Global Initiative Chicago (GIChicago.org), and the founder of fightingpoverty.org.
30 E Lake St
Chicago IL 60601
1 "Canada puts muscle behind claim to Northwest Passage," Seattle Times, July 10, 2007
2 Linda McQuaig, "Holding the Bully's Coat: Canada and the U.S. Empire" (Doubleday, 2007)
3 School of the Americas Watch, 2007 ( http://www.soaw.org/new)
4 Jack Nelson-Pallmeyer, "School of Assassins: The Case for Closing the School of the Americas and for Fundamentally Changing U.S. Foreign Policy" (Maryknoll, New York: Orbis Books, 1997)
5 "Our objective with the FTAA is to guarantee control for North American businesses over a territory which stretches from the Arctic to the Antarctic, free access, over the entire hemisphere, without any difficulty or obstacle, for our products, services, technology and capital." -- Colin Powell, 2002
6 "20 or 30 years from now historians will look back on the mission to Iraq as America's golden moment." -- George Bush, Annapolis, May 27, 2005
7 "Crude Dudes," by Linda McQuaig, The Toronto Star, 20 September 2004
8 Maps and Charts of Iraqi Oil Fields," Judicial Watch ( http://www.judicialwatch.org/iraqi-oil-maps.shtml)
9 "When “Old News” Has Never Been Told" July/August 2005, By Julie Hollar and Peter Hart, fair.org
10 "Why did attorney general support such a weak and dismal argument?" The Guardian, February 23, 2005
11 "Book: Bush, Blair were set on Iraq war despite UN," Chicago Tribune, February 11, 2006.
12 "Ex-C.I.A. Official Says Iraq Data Was Distorted," by Scott Shane, New York Times, February 11, 2006
13 "War is the last option for confronting threats." -- George Bush, Radio Address by the President to the Nation, December 7, 2002
14 Department of Defense, Office of Reconstruction and Humanitarian Assistance, New York Times, 7 May 2003
15 Chart shown in New York Times, 7 May 2003; Source: Department of Defense, Office of Reconstruction and Humanitarian Assistance.
16 "The war in Iraq is really about peace." -- George Bush, after visiting wounded troops on April 11, 2003
17 "I wasn't happy when we found out there wasn't weapons." -- George Bush, Second Presidential Debate, Washington University, St Louis, 10/08/04
18 "Pakistan and the True WMD Threat," by Robert Scheer, Los Angeles Times, December 7, 2004
19 "U.S. Aborted Raid on Qaeda Chiefs in Pakistan in ’05," by Mark Mazzetti, New York Times, July 8, 2007
20 "Al Qaeda-Pakistani ties deepen," by Gretchen Peters, The Christian Science Monitor, March 06, 2003
21 "An Ordinary Person's Guide to Empire," by Arundhati Roy (South End Press, 2004)
22 "Americans defend two untouchable ministries from the hordes of looters," robert-fisk.com, 04/14/03
23 "The United States has no quarrel with the Iraqi people." -- George W. Bush, United Nations General Assembly, September 2002
24 "Updated Iraq Survey Affirms Earlier Mortality Estimates," Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, October 11, 2006
25 "It's really not a number I'm terribly interested in." -- General Colin Powell, asked about the number of Iraqi people killed in the 1991 Desert Storm fighting
26 "You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror." -- George Bush interview with CBS News' Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006
27 “Military men are just dumb stupid animals to be used as pawns in foreign policy.” - Henry Kissinger, quoted in "Kiss the Boys Goodbye: How the United States Betrayed Its Own POW’s in Vietnam," by Monika Jenson-Stevenson & William Stevenson, McClelland & Stewart Ltd., 1999
28 "I will never apologize for the United States of America - I don't care what the facts are." -- President George H. W. Bush, 1988
29 "It's bad in Iraq. Does that help?" --George W. Bush, when asked by a reporter if he was in denial about Iraq, Washington, D.C., Dec. 7, 2006